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Oh god best copypasta ever

2009-08-11 20:02:09 by TheMaster

My job is so fucking creepy. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.


Comments

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shogarshogar

2011-06-16 03:28:52

Sexy teen strips and fingers herself on webcam.

http://cashload.org/5fcdf00e

Will probably get deleted soon so be quick!


DogmeatDogmeat

2009-08-22 17:56:20

This is hilarious, I love it.

TheMaster responds:

ADSF


SensationalismSensationalism

2009-08-22 07:57:16

That's my favourite copypasta!

TheMaster responds:

Soviet creepypasta is superior.


dogpup4dogpup4

2009-08-20 12:20:24

I rofl'd when I read the last line.

TheMaster responds:

That's the idea.


SidorioSidorio

2009-08-19 16:27:48

I read the last line first and ruined it.

TheMaster responds:

You'll never experience true happiness now.


TheD-LucksEditionTheD-LucksEdition

2009-08-13 18:37:11

Fuck's sake, I'm laughing too fucking hard for this time of night. I'll wake my mum, you glorious prick.

TheMaster responds:

I laughed more at this than anything else in a long time.


saltovergraysaltovergray

2009-08-13 13:20:41

That was awesome.

I lol'ed. Hard.

TheMaster responds:

It's so perfect.


SCUD14SCUD14

2009-08-13 06:21:59

Lmao

TheMaster responds:

Indeed.


ChaosProdigyChaosProdigy

2009-08-12 20:05:06

That's some tasty copypasta you got there!

TheMaster responds:

I totally didn't catch on until the third paragraph. I laughed.